The process of learning

Some of the most difficult decisions we must make alone, but it is the support of others that allows us to know we’ve made the right one.

Since we arrived in Chiapas, Mexico a little over a week ago there has been a lot to process. Some of the things we are learning are physical; the structure of a non-profit, the process of a campaign, the history of an area. Others are more intellectual; why do so many people have to live in fear. Others emotional or spiritual; how do I feel about this, what do I do about it and how will this shape my future and the person I want to become.

Although we do it as a group a lot of it is done internally, as we are all here on our own learning journey, our own quest. We must process for ourselves things like; what does this mean to me, how do I feel about it, how does this effect me, personally and professionally, what will I do with this knowledge and how does this apply to my future.

Sometimes the learning is difficult, and we are learning it is important to name what we are feeling and what we are thinking in order to allow ourselves to process it in a healthy way.

It is like that old saying, if you don’t know what’s wrong you won’t be able to fix it.

I have been going through some personal struggles, things about who I am, who I want to be and how I want to participate in this vast and ever changing world. I begin to second-guess myself; will I be good enough, am I strong enough. Will I be able to make a difference and where within this global chaos do I belong.

Today as a group we discussed these things, we talked about our hopes, our fears. Where we feel there needs to be change both within ourselves and societal systems and structures. The conversation ran long but for me the message was clear.

Through this process of dialogue and experiential learning I have learned we must be careful to go easy on ourselves, take care of ourselves and be patient with ourselves. It isn’t healthy nor realistic to expect too much of any one person and if we try to do it all, we will surely fail. We live in a time where results are expected promptly, we must be able to measure our success in order for us to believe it exists. Often this is not the way and our dreams will be lost and our spirits will die.

Through this process of dialogue and experiential learning I have learned the importance of balance and of self-forgiveness. From within Mexico I have learned the true meaning of mental health not only in the northern context but in the way of having peace of mind and tranquil thought. I have learned it is okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them and grow. I have learned it is okay to have my head in the clouds as long as my feet are firmly planted on the ground.

I have learned the power of honest relationships and the strength of community. I have learned to honour the opinions of others equal to those of my own and to honour all people as equals. I have learned things that at one time, long ago as a child were natural and were somehow lost or forgotten. Not intentionally or with pride but within a culture and context where we constantly struggle to be better, best, or on top.

I have made mistakes and I will own them. I can admit my humilities and I am learning how to put them behind me. No one thing can ever be perfect, and no one thing should ever want to be. It is every imperfection which makes beauty beautiful and I am learning it is my imperfections which make me human and make me, me.

These I will own, I will admit and I will move on and I will grow.

To take this path has been the right decision; Belleville, Mexico and wherever else I may go. And I am thankful for what I have been given, for what I have seen and what I have learned.

We make the path by walking, and so far I like this path best.

Thank you ISW.

“A man fails many times but is never a failure until he gives up, for from failure comes valuable experience and from experience comes wisdom,” author unknown.