Written Tuesday, February 24.
This morning during our walk we found two building parallel one another located on a large piece of property with a soccer field. It appeared to be a school. Each building had two floors with numerous classrooms. The electricity and water were not working but were installed, but still the building remained empty. We talked about how awesome it would be to turn it into a classroom for international exchanges with Loyalist students where we could come and learn.
On the walk home I saw the biggest dog ever that looked like a Mexican version of Beethoven.
Later at breakfast Sister Alajandra told us how it was meant to be a school but for whatever reason, the municipal government forbid it.
For the rest of the day I struggled; mentally, physically and emotionally. In many ways you could say I lost it.
To begin with, for the first time since I arrived I could feel my body catching up with me. I was tired, weak and a little under the weather. For the first time in my life I relied on coffee to keep me awake. Not because I wasn’t interested in what was going on, but because my body was giving out.
We went to visit a family who immigrated to Mexico from El Salvador 27 years ago and met with a life-long activist in Liberal theology who later introduced us to her friend Estela, who lives in a co-op settlement with her four children.
Gloria, the mother of the El Salvador family, and Estela are two of the strongest, most influential people I have ever met. Their stories and strength empowered me and changed my life.
I will start with Gloria. Gloria grew up in El Salvador. In 1977, when she was 14 years old, communism entered the country. This is what she calls the beginning.
Gloria and others like her, wanted to help people people. They wanted to break out of the old tradition; play music in the church and focus on conflicts and solutions. There were many conservative catholic’s who disagreed with this, causing a separation between the people. The government was communist and was not in favour of the people and so a movement began in hope of change. The movement was not interested in war or conflict. They were interested in equality, change and human rights. They thought they could reach their goals without arms.
In 1978 and 1979, the military sent 100 soldiers into the villages where they knew the movement was active and they would look for the leaders.
In 1979, two members of the movement living in Gloria’s village disappeared and were never seen again.
It got to the point where people from Gloria’s village were being murdered and they were forced to hide in the mountains and get weapons. The Arch Bishop told the people, “Stop the repression against your own people, these are your brothers and sisters you are killing.”
“In the name of God, stop.”
The next day, he was killed. Gloria said this is when they realized they meant nothing to the government. If they could kill the Arch Bishop, they would have no problem killing them as well.
In 1980 the government planned an ambush on Gloria’s village. Gloria told us the story of one of the children who had survived. The child remembers telling her mother she was afraid because they could hear gun shots. Her mother told her to go hide under the bed.
“I don’t want to go alone,” she said.
Her mother did not answer her after that. She recalls seeing the inside of her mother’s stomach on the outside. Forty six people were killed that day. Three were men, one was Gloria’s father. The rest were women and children.
Throughout this war, Gloria was captured by military and held captive for days with no food or water her two small children with her. She lost her father, brother and two sisters to this war.
“The majority of our generation was killed,” Gloria said. “[But] it was not our time to die.”
Gloria escaped to Mexico in the early 1980s and says the only reason she survived was because she left the country.
Gloria said people think she left El Salvador because people were dying of hunger, she tells them no, the government was killing us.
Gloria and her family came to Mexico with nothing and were very poor, but humble and happy she said. Her and her husband are now quite successful and own their own business making T-shirts. Over the years they have built themselves a beautiful house with a lovely garden and have four children who all attend school and who they are very proud of. Gloria said there is always emptiness inside of her left behind from her past.
People are still being exposed to the same terrors as Gloria around the world.
Next we met Elaine. Elaine is a single mother of four living in a ravine settlement. She grew up in the state of Chaipas, the poorest state in Mexico. It had no schools, no jobs, no running water and no electricity. She was married there and had four children.
Her husband abused her and told her she was nothing, told her she was worthless and threatened her life with a gun to her head. Things are different in Mexico compared to Canada. Women have very little rights, leaving your husband is something women don’t do. It is not accepted by society and looked upon as sin.
Elaine is one of the few women who stood for her rights as a female and as an individual. With nothing but the clothes on her back she left the state of Chiapas and her husband behind in hopes of a new life.
She said when she arrived to the city of Cuernavaca she had no idea what she would do and stayed with her Aunt. She said for days she would cry and cry. Sometimes, she said she felt as if she were drowning in depression. Her father threatened to take her back to Chiapas, said it was unacceptable for her to leave her husband but Elaine stayed strong and refused. Eventually her father accepted he would not be able to change his daughters mind. He helped her purchase material to build the one room home which she and her four children now live in.
The things that struck me about Elaine were her purity, her optimism, smile and passion to live. She lived through terrifying circumstances and held no hatred towards the world or the people in it who made her life hell. She said she had no negative thoughts against her husband and wished him well. She said she thanked him. Without the cruelty in which he treated her, she would never have gained the strength to leave and would never have been able to offer her children an opportunity to a better life.
Agustina said Elaine is the kindest, most selfless person she has ever met. If all she has to eat is a small plate of rice and tortilla after she has fed her children she will share what little she has with her neighbours.
Agustina brings many different groups from all over the worlds to meet with Elaine and hear her incredible story. She said many of the students have written and told how her story changed them. Elaine blushes and says she knows nothing.
A member of Quest said to Elaine, “This isn’t true. By sharing your story you have taught us so much about life that we can’t be taught in school. You are worth so much and we thank you.”
I left her house in tears, as did many members of our group. I felt selfish and embarrassed coming from a country where we are given so much but are still not happy. Elaine was never given anything. The little she has, her one room house with two beds and a curtain dividing where they eats from where they go to the bathroom, is a product of her sweat and her tears. Her story made me want to be a better person. I was blessed with many opportunities in life as are most Canadians. Who is to say we deserve them any more than Gloria, who was forced to flee her country in terror, or the children whose lives were taken before they began, or Elaine who has never known anything but extreme poverty.
Hearing these stories, there were times my body would tremble as I cried and I wanted to leave the room except I couldn’t find the strength to move.
At dinner in the Abbey the group reflected on our day and shared what we had learnt and how it had touched us. I tried to explain how I had felt and how I had lost it.
Gary told me I hadn’t lost anything.
He told me I had found it.
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